I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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