Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
