Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
