Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize