Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
3 2 1 whiskey
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
