I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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