I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize