broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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