She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
