My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
