Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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