I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
