Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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