4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize