Just cropdusted the office
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
