Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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