Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
