I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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