Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
