oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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