Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize