My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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