just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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