Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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