wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
