as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
