Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
