She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize