That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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