We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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