Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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