i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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