Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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