so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there's paper in my vomit.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
