When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
