If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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