K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman