Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
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just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?