3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol