You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"