My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
