Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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