OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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