went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize