you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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