You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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