his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
