How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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