I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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