Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize