fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
