God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
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He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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