You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
