drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
