Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize